Thursday, March 11, 2010

Zombie Nightmare

Alright, so we've got a horror movie about baseball, heavy metal, and Canadian voodoo... I think we're in for a real treat.

The story starts, eventually, with one large guy getting run over by a bunch of kids speeding through town. The guy's mom shows up pretty much immediately, is understandably distraught, and immediately takes him right to the hospital... and by hospital I mean the local Canadian voodoo priestess, Molly Mokembe.

Fact: Canadian clowns are much scarier than American clowns.

The voodoo priestess reanimates his corpse, with a quick mention that he'll be looking for some sort of revenge later.

Soon enough, the zombie kills one of the random kids from the speeding car after we watch them play tennis for a painful two or three minutes.

97 to 134. Approximately halfway through the game.

When the police arrive, we're introduced to the captain (Adam West) and a couple of investigators.

Wait a few minutes and I'll call someone "Batty." Seriously.

The older investigator talks sort of like a duck and teaches the younger guy (Frank Dietz of The Lost Skeleton Returns Again) the ways of being a bad investigator: ignoring evidence, pinning crimes on convenient bystanders, etc. The younger guy doesn't really seem to like this method of policework, so he goes off to his house to brood and leaves us to watch Adam West have a very cryptic audio-only flashback. I can't imagine who thought this was a good idea to stick in the film, but it wasn't.

Around this time we meet another couple from the car that hit the zombified kid. Amy (Tia Carrere of Wayne's World) opens the scene by calling her boyfriend and telling him that she's worried that the guy they hit is trying for revenge and they'll be next. Her boyfriend hangs up and she goes back to clutching her teddy bear.

She and her boyfriend meet up and start running around to get away, but they don't end up getting very far.

Even with such evasive maneuvers as... standing still, hiding behind glass.

Adam West goes after Molly Mokembe to find out what to do. And pretty soon the Frank Dietz, Adam West, the voodoo priestess, and the zombie all end up at the cemetary. Adam West tries to shoot everyone, gets everyone but Frank Dietz, and then... Twist Ending!!

Another zombie pops up and pulls him into its grave to mercifully end the Zombie Nightmare experience.

Unless you're some sort of Adam West completest, you should steer clear of this one. It's almost never bad enough to be funny, and almost always bad enough to be painful

To end on a positive note... In that last minute or so of the film, we did finally get one of our first good looks at the zombie and I was actually surprised at how good the two zombies looked relative to the rest of the movie.

While they're not excellent, they're certainly not Zombie Lake-bad.

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